July 2011
1 post
my, oh my
how life can change over a 4 month period. i couldn’t be happier sellin’ shoes, working long days, playing ps3 with my love jonathan, and getting shit-canned on sundays for monday funday.
for the first time in my ADULT life i am actually happy.
March 2011
1 post
I’m a social bird who has had her wings clipped.
February 2011
4 posts
one of the first songs i did when i was 19. and...
it’s hard to push a freight train over a hill. and as much rain, snow, and sleet that has been thrown at me i should give up.
but i can’t. everyday i wake up and i dream a new way to attack the hill and one day that freight train will move an inch. i still think that will be a victory.
every sensible part of my brain says….adjust. play the game. fit the mold. just be happy in...
there’s no other way to explain it.
i was just Bred to Love.
for once in my life i’m finally having my cake and eating it too.
January 2011
6 posts
we don’t have traumas.
life is a trauma. it’s how u assess, process, resolve, and counsel through these traumas that will determine if you can truly survive…but not only survive, be happy with what you have, who you are, and where you are going.
there will always be a sudden trauma. one must know how to decided severity.
observation
who’s to say that losing love is a complete loss?
let’s have an honest moment.
the dust has settled after 2 weeks and i see clearly. a lot of my close friends know what you did to me, but i’d like to outline key points for everyone else.
once a hustler…always a hustler. and while you tell everyone you are on the up and up you are HUSTLING them. very charming. you belong...
it’s a new year and everyone has made their bullshit resolutions.
i just live the same way i do everyday and every year. be true to me. i’m all i really have.
so this year…i’m not taking any bullshit. i’m not giving any hand outs. i’m taking no prisoners.
and all that fake ass shit is for the birds. be yourself people! there is only one you!
December 2010
1 post
September 2010
4 posts
i suppose we all want what we can’t have.
lately i’ve been craving a bit of flesh mixed with some romance. it’s been so long since my heart pounded at the sight of another. i miss that adreneline. i miss the rush…
i miss the love letters and mix cds. i miss being held at night and kissed when i wake up. i miss warm skin in the dark before i shut my eyes when my mind...
i get down on myself sometimes. im actually pretty hard on me. if i fail i feel like a complete failure. i think that positive self talk is very important. when i really think about it…there is no other Anna Ward. i mean if you get technical there are “Anna Wards” but not like me. lol not with this sense of humor, these crazy hands, or lack of ultimate responsibility. i dont need...
if you cant be yourself, then who the fuck can you be?
im now officially copywritten. dont copy my swag.
;)
i was a sinking ship out in the stormy sea.
i had little hope, not a chance to believe
but you swam in the dark, with the sharks
to rescue me
if i’ve ever learned anything it would be love
if i could show the world one thing
it would be love
it’s not a dream, not a whisper
it’s an act, not a position
most of all it’s never changing, not like the sea.
no not like...
August 2010
4 posts
i cant wait to unleash my music on the world and murk everyones ears!!!!!
im out for blood bitches. watch ya necks.
u will never know your true strength until pushed to your absolute limit.
gravity is a funny thing.
best believe it always gets it’s way…
am i starting to become what i've always wanted to...
just another day in the life, wake up, drink up, play nice
conceal the lack of sleep on ya face accessorize to fit in place then plaster a grin on them pearly whites leave for the day, prepared to fight
u may be a “nobody” when you crack open the door
but today could be the day you become something more.
who knows? maybe today is the day you’re finally free to become the you,...
July 2010
4 posts
I am upset with You.
even in my darkest hours I have never renounced my faith and love of You. nor denied that I believe You are real and that I believe in your promises.
sometimes it’s not fair that many who dont deserve good favor and grace continue on, yet devoted lovers get tormented and rejected help in times of emergency.
all i can do is sit here and cry and be baffled at all the betrayal. i am in shock....
do u feel my warmth at night when you lay in silence all alone?
sleep alone
in the dark i am alone with my inner most thoughts.
no soul to cling to but my own. no love to call my own. i have so much. i will have so much but what i crave the most is companionship? surely i am bigger than that. i dont need another to complete me. but perhaps challenge me. maybe i need one to shower with love.
it’s the most simple things that i cannot replicate that i want the most....
June 2010
10 posts
my tears come and go, as does my strength. my frustrations with people who “love” me or have “loved” me will never stop tormenting me. i feel the most alone right now even though i have the most friends i’ve ever had in my life. i’m upset that i’ve wasted time on people that i can’t get back but when i ask for some type of understanding and kind...
I used to be so good at making men fall in love. Now I feel I’m the expert at falling in lust. I try to show all the good, but in modern times we all seem to only be interested in instant gratification.
When did we lose our humanity?
Why have our carnal desires over taken us?
It is our ability to reason and analyze, as well as create art, that seperates us from the animals. When all we...
check yo self fo ya wreck yo self!
i like to think in a world of fake i try to keep it real. i try to eat a piece of humble pie once a week. it’s easy to get ahead of myself, but i find living one day at a time reminds me to breathe.
as i start from scratch i remind myself that all that glitters is not gold.
most people talk shit. even if they have talent to back their shit talking up, it’s still disgusting to me. i...
VIP in dis BITCH
it’s funny how one minute you’re down and out and a day later you’re up and in.
Life continues to take my breath away. the stars are aligning and the universe is not only smiling on me but pushing me forward. i feel incrediably motivated and ready. the talking about this is over. i’m ready to attack your fucking speakers and/or radios with my music. i hope the world is...
i haven’t cried in like 2 months. but today i will allow myself to breakdown for 5 minutes.
i am allowed to waller in my defeat for a few tears, so i can build myself back up. i think this is necessary.
so here it is…start the timer now.
Can anybody find me somebody to love? Each morning I get up I die a little Can barely stand on my feet Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord what you’re doing to me I have spent all my years in believing you But I just can’t get no relief, Lord! Somebody, somebody Can anybody find me somebody to love?
i’ve created such a fantastical facade that i’ve got everyone fooled.
Anna,
Protect your heart.
Control your temper.
Open your eyes.
May 2010
3 posts
wow
the entire month of may has seemed to slip through my grasp. it’s been very productive. i guess time flies when you’re having fun? hah
i am so very happy right now. i cant wait to move downtown and keep this positive energy rollin’.
livin’ well is the best revenge. ;)
we all want what we can’t have, and when we get it, it seems to lose it’s luster…whatever it is.
i wont stand for that shit anymore. here i am. this is me being GRATEFUL.
April 2010
24 posts
it's not goodbye, it's i'll see you later.
our stars are not aligning for the first time in 6 years. usually i would panic but as i have matured i have found that what’s real will creep back into my life right when it needs to.
i miss you, wife.
but we cant be together at this point in our journey. i dont hate you or dispise you. i’m nmot even that angry with you to be honest. i feel we just need some seperation for a while...
am I the only person that REALLY gets it?
if i could find someone who can handle the rough edges i have and not just enjoy the whimsy, i would have my soulmate.
sometimes i wonder if people really understand me as much as they say they do. most of them if not all of them do not lay beside me as i fall asleep and share the brilliance or torture that runs through my skull. if i could really tell people what i thought of them i would have...
an angel among mortals.
it’s past 3 am and i cant sleep. at first it was the drama of the day, of the week. i’ve layed here and tried find some comfort to bring sleep to my mind. i saw the stack of belongings i had claimed as mine that were my grandmother’s. i’ve read a lot of the books she had. i hate reading, but just the thought of her hands touching the same pages brings me comfort.
...
i’m tired of forgetting and forgiving so easily, when everyone else just throws me to the curb if i mess up.
=/
elephants by rachel yamagata
If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember
It's no wonder how they scream
Like you and I they must have some temper
And I am dreaming of them on the plains
Dirtying up their beds
Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads
And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do
You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget...
it started off so clear cut. what was happening, what would happen. the sparks were flying so much i thought we’d set the town on fire. i was reluctant to openly give a few pieces of my heart i had left. i was secure in my decision. well as secure as the situation would allow.
however, something changed in the chemistry of “us.” i dont know where. i dont understand how....